I’m feeling a little punchy these days. See, debut authors are supposed to spend the runup to publication doing everything we can to promote ourselves, so that our books will sell a ton of copies right out of the gate — thus saving us from the midlist death spiral, the dreaded penname change (Octavia M. Tarrant!), and so on. But Book 3 has also been eating my soul, leaving precious little creativity for my promotional efforts.
So I’ve still been coming up with promotional ideas, but… well… they’re all stupid.
- City on a Stick! You, too, can own your very own personal replica of Sky, the floating city of The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms! Buy my book and I will send you a personally-baked brownie (gluten-free available!) on a popsicle stick, lovingly cutout to resemble the distinctive skyline of the palace as rendered by artist Cliff Nielsen on the book’s cover. For a small additional administrative fee, the brownie can be made with “special” ingredients, symbolic of the mind-altering experience that is life among the Arameri. Not responsible for any addiction or overdose which might result.*
Oh, and this one:
- Take a picture with the Nightlord! Want to share the thrilling experience of hanging out with the Lord of Darkness? OK! Just go into your bathroom with a digital camera, whisper his name, then take a photo of yourself in the mirror! Be sure not to use the flash for that “authentic look”.
I was thinking that one might go viral.
So now I’m in a mood to hear about other silly, useless, actively dangerous, or otherwise amusing promotional efforts. Please share links, macros, whatever; yours or others’. Maybe if I see enough silliness created by other people, I can purge the urge to bleach my hair white and proclaim myself the ruler of the universe. Your help is appreciated!
ETA: Slightly altered photo-taking one; thought it sounded a bit too silly.
* A note for any law enforcement officials who happen across this website: of course I’m not serious. I haven’t the slightest clue how to make “special” brownies, and I have no idea where I might find the ingredients for such. I’m not even going to make ordinary brownies for anybody. Drug addiction is a terrible thing, and so is diabetes, and naturally I have no intention of endorsing either. This was a joke, albeit a slightly tasteless one. Just sayin’.